In His Own Time
by Hobsonphile
Summary: OLD STORY #2: A tag for "Fate", written in 2000, but never published.


In His Own Time An Early Edition Vignette by Stephanie Souders  
  
Marissa sat in the back seat of Erica's car and listened to the hum of the engine in reflective silence. The deep, regular sound of Gary's breathing beside her indicated that he had finally fallen into a peaceful sleep for the first time in days. She reached out and lightly touched the butterfly suture on Gary's forehead- her fingers then sought out his hand, clutching it gently in her palm. The warmth she found there reassured her that Gary was alive, that he had made it through this, and that he was going to be okay.  
  
The car pulled to a stop. "We're here," Erica announced from the front seat.  
  
Marissa squeezed Gary's arm and he stirred, mumbling, "Hmm..wha?"  
  
"We're here," Marissa quietly repeated. She heard the car door open and then Gary's leather jacket creak as he shifted position and climbed out of the vehicle. After a pause, the door beside her opened and she felt Gary's hand brush up against her own arm, offering her assistance. Taking hold of her friend's elbow, she allowed herself to be led into McGinty's, hearing Erica's footfalls behind her.  
  
When they got inside, there was an awkward pause. "Will you be alright here tonight, Gary?" Erica asked, her voice troubled.  
  
"Yeah, I think so," Gary replied softly.  
  
Marissa was reluctant to let go of Gary's arm. Tonight she almost lost her cherished friend to his own guilt, his own pain. She had always known how big Gary's heart was, and how impossibly high his expectations were of his ability to make things right. But ever since the boiler explosion- ever since that man slipped from Gary's grasp- she had become even more acutely aware of how vulnerable he was.  
  
And how special. He got the paper because he was special, not the other way around. Marissa had always assured Gary of this fact whenever he suffered from his own self doubt, and now she truly, deeply believed it with all her heart. If Gary had died in that collapse- if the rescue squad had given up- the world would've been a lesser place without him.  
  
"Are you sure?" Marissa asked, still holding Gary's elbow. For what seemed like the fiftieth time, her eyes welled with tears at the memory of the sound of Gary's voice as he told them about his obituary- haunted and ready to pay retribution for his failure. And then she felt Gary's arms around her, hugging her tightly.  
  
Beside her left ear, Marissa heard Gary's subtle twang. "I'm sorry."  
  
"Sorry?" Marissa pulled away from the embrace, a quizzical look on her face. "For what?" "I haven't exactly been the best person to be around lately. And..." There was a small pause. "And the last thing I wanted to do was to hurt you."  
  
The threatening tears spilled from Marissa's eyes as once again a feeling of wonder at Gary's selflessness overwhelmed her. At a time when he needed comfort most of all, this man... this soul that stood before her was offering comfort to someone else. Marissa reached out and cupped Gary's face in her hands, then pulled him back into an embrace. You are good enough, Gary. Just as you are- right now. She wanted to tell him how extraordinary he truly was, paper or no paper, but the words didn't come. Instead, she simply held him, and let her actions speak for themselves.  
  
***** Erica felt decidedly ill at ease watching the two friends wrap their arms around each other- watching Gary squeeze his eyes shut and bury his face into Marissa's shoulder. The love and affection between Gary and Marissa made her feel like a third wheel. Her own relationship with Gary had yet to develop that depth of compassion and trust.  
  
Not for the first time, Erica began to doubt whether she was the right woman for Gary. His total dedication to the paper- something Marissa often took in stride- was difficult for her to understand. And his willingness to put his own life on the line when the paper required it truly frightened her. As she watched the rescue squad try to extricate Gary from the ruins of that abandoned store, her heart had leapt up into her throat at the prospect of losing him.  
  
She needed somebody who would be there for her- and for Henry- no matter what. Thinking back to the small, scapegoat smile on Gary's face when she demanded to know why he had gone to the carpet store that afternoon, Erica seriously questioned Gary's ability to support her own emotional needs.  
  
Erica needed to talk to Gary about this, and soon. But not right now- not when tears still glittered under Gary's closed eyelids.  
  
*****  
  
After several moments, Gary finally pulled away, still holding Marissa's hand. "I don't want you to worry about me tonight," he murmured, squeezing her fingers lightly in reassurance. "I'll be fine." And Marissa believed him this time. There was something different in his voice- something that suggested he was beginning to make peace with himself. No longer were his words laced with guilt and morbid resignation. She let go of her friend at last and listened as he exited the bar and climbed the stairs to his loft.  
  
Erica came up behind her, some measure of discomfort in her tone. "Come on, I'll take you home."  
  
Marissa walked with Erica back to the car and climbed into the front seat. The drive to her place was once again silent, each woman lost in her own thoughts. Above all, Marissa wondered what had happened to Gary in that carpet store- how did he find his way back to life and his friends?  
  
Perhaps she would ask him about it someday. But not for awhile- she had pushed him enough already. Someday, Gary would tell her... in his own time.  
  
THE END. 


End file.
